The heather-encrusted Headlands, veiled in fog as thick as smoke in a crowded pub, hunched precariously over the moors, their rocky elbows slipping off land’s end, their bulbous, craggy noses thrust into the thick foam of the North Sea like bearded old men falling asleep in their pints. Of course, authors want to be remembered for their works, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery … except when it isn’t: Not only was Bulwer-Lytton prolific, he coined a few phrases we still recognize today, among them “the pen is mightier than the sword,” “pursuit of the almighty dollar,” and “the great unwashed.” Against his wishes, he is buried in Westminster Abbey. He was extremely popular with the reading public, and his bestselling novels earned him a fortune.

Poetry, novels, plays–Bulwer-Lytton produced them all (sometimes anonymously), and they helped support an extravagant, eccentric lifestyle. His writing career began in 1820 with the publication of a book of poetry, and it never let up. Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton was born in London in 1803 and died in 1873. It’s only natural to assume that the namesake of this illustrious contest was something of a literary hack. (Gail Cain, CA, 1983 Grand Prize winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest) The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted sulkily and, buffing her already impeccable nails–not for the first time since the journey began–pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil. This mother lode of cringe-worthy badness couldn’t help but produce quality gold: But the next year, fueled by public announcements and media attention, approximately 10,000 awful entries poured in. In its first year of existence, the contest attracted three entries. The department has sponsored the competition ever since. Rice of the English Department at San Jose State University.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest was started in 1982 by Professor Scott E. The confusing tangents! The meandering, florid language! It takes talent to create something so fundamentally over-written. With enough skill, that sentence will equal or surpass the famous stinker produced by the contest’s namesake, Edward Bulwer-Lytton : “It was a dark and stormy night the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.” (Paul Clifford, 1830) If they are, it’s time to prove it by submitting to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, the competition that asks contestants to create a first sentence to an utter bomb of a novel. 6/13/14 – THE BULWER-LYTTON FICTION CONTEST: WHEN REALLY BAD IS REALLY GOODĪre your writing chops good enough to craft rotten prose? I mean, really rotten prose.

Lyttony of grand prize winners